Second Son

Peep this chap. He’s called Sebas (as in “Kick his ass Seabass”). He works for one of Europe’s finest on-line retailers Fresh Cotton (www.freshcotton.nl). For a German, he really is a damn funny chap.

He lives in Holland. Holland is famous for little more than its hilarious dialect (asking a Dutchman to say Tom Cruise or Stuffed Peppers is about as funny as getting a Geordie to say Kawasaki - try it). It is also renowned for being flatter than Paris Hilton’s chest and for getting into stuff way after everyone else. Just look at Vincent Van Gogh – homie lived his whole life in Dutchland and no-one ever gave him one single prop. Which is why the man resorted to a desperate act of attention seeking and lopped off his lobe. FACT. Then he dies, the Germans rock up and everyone realizes he’s a genius.

So to cut a long story short last week the Dutch got into skinny jeans in a BIG way. However, owing to the fact that the Dutch only eat waffles and hodgepodge (a stew of potatoes, carrots, and onions served with slices of fried pork) they all have massive asses, which is a bonus on long train journeys but a fucker if you suddenly need to grease yourself into a pair of spray-ons to get laid.

So until they’ve all slimmed down by playing nuff voet-ball the Dutch are all sporting XXXL Tee dresses to hide their fat asses. Not sure it’s a look that’ll catch on here but we can but hope and pray.

For more info peep Sebas’ blog at fresh-cotton.blogspot.com