Blackboards in porn (probably safe for work)

Category: Hey Ladies · Nerd stuff · TV, +

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It seems that nerdery lurks in the most unlikely places. I’ve just been alerted to the website ‘Blackboards in Porn‘, which is a celebration of “pornographers who go the extra mile when set dressing classroom porn and actually write something on the blackboard”. Now you may be surprised to learn that pornographers can actually write, let alone write something technically correct on a blackboard, but prepare to have your preconceptions smashed.

The efforts transcribed here range from chemistry to geography and are analysed (no pun intended) for accuracy and syntax, with each one rated in terms of educational level. Now that might sound boring as hell but trust me, it’s fascinating as f*ck. Take ‘Dr. Lagina’s Math Tutorial’ for instance: he’s gone in hard on the equations despite the fact that he looks like a depressed Russian wrestler moonlighting as a PE teacher.

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Frankly I’d expected a lot more ‘Emc2′ and bad sexual puns, but surprisingly it turns out that much of what they write is technically correct enough to compete with whatever kids learn in school these days. Perhaps one day all this stuff will be combined anyway and A-Level students will be given cheaply-made softcore porno as homework so they can learn sex education and maths at the same time. Or maybe this is a government-sponsored initiative to use subliminal messages in porn as a way of upping the average national intelligence level, on some fluoride-in-the-drinking-water type isht.

My favourite thing here is probably the essay question behind a greasy man in an ill-fitting suit and his bored and only faintly attractive pupil: “AS TIME PASSES, THE RUSSIAN IDEAL OF GOVERNMENT UNDERWENT A RADICAL SHIFT. DESCRIBE THAT SHIFT & ALL ASPECTS OF IT”. Some would say that’s a mood-killer, but if you’re a sexually frustrated history buff (and I imagine there might be a few) this must be hot stuff. Anyway, read more here.

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PS. I was tempted to make a pun on ’sexual chemistry’ but have refrained.

 

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